Nothing, can bring back
the Innocence of a Child.
When you're small
Reality doesn't affect you
but there comes a time
when we all must Wake Up.
She had those Pills
those damn
white
pills
She took them every night
it was Ritual
Rituals changed
I watched her
I stood un-knowing
un-affected
The Bottle
dumped in Her hand
all swallowed
finished off with water
Confusion wrapped itself
around My little world
Tears wrapped around Sirens
Questions
When we realize
Life isn't Perfect
and neither are We.
note: this is about a failed suicide. She is still alive and I couldn't be happier about that fact.
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15 comments:
that's really sad. well...obviously, but just the way you said it was really cool.
That was good. "Tears wrapped around Sirens," Awesome line. I think that the word choice and emphasis was great. I don't know if there is anything to change, this poem was really good!
That almost made me cry. i got tears in my eyes. i do like the emphasis and the word choices.
i really like the last paragraph 'When we realize life isn't perfect and neither are we.' and the capitalization on We making it stand out. that was great.
the poem was a really good one. keep writing. you do it well.
This was a really sad poem. But very good. good job
Your Poem Robyn almost made me cry. I like that fact that it is really personal, it brings alot more to the poem. You are a good poem writier and you should keep working on more poems.
it's really sad, but it's also really good and well written. I like the first and the sixth stanzas a lot, they're so true.
Wow that was really good. I really liked how you capitalized words that you wanted emphasized, it really draws the reader in."when we all must Wake Up" is a really awesome line and has a ton of emotion attached to it. I think its very cool that you can share something so personal in such a creative way. Great job.
GOOD POEM! i like it alot, its very sad but so is mine! it you know whats it about. you should read mine, its about my older brother who turned into a drug addict and tore appart my family, but for some awkward reason it made my whole family so close, we are all like friends now. its cool. but you should read mine if you havent yet !
WOW! i am very glad that you chose this. i can tell this really impacted your life. good job on the writing. you might want to put in the poem some how that she is still alive. something like "even till this day i am glad her fatal attempts didn't work, we love her even till this day"
that was a sad story but i like how you presented it
Yay, someone else capitalized random (but important) words like I did. I now understand why people comment on it so much.
I also like when "white" and "pills" are separated. It shows that emphasis without repeating the capitalization.
Great job.
I LOVE THIS POEM. Probably one of the best I've read today! I can tell that you gave tons of thoughts into this and it's so awesome that you can write about something so personal and deep. I loved your line breaks, especially on'white pills'
I also think your poem teachers every teen a good lesson, no one is perfect.
loveeeddd it :)
This poem is one of the best poems I have read, I like how you told it was a true story and how you feel about it. I like how you can almost picture this in your head. It's really sad, but I like it so much , great job .
omg i loved the way you broke up the lines mostally on "those white pills". This poem is so awesome!! Great job
That's something not many people can understand unless you've known someone in the situation or possibly yourself, But it's something you don't forget and writing about it seems to un-bottle it sometimes! I like the way you write I'll check back to see more !! :)
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