Emily Garrison- Waitress/ Before wedding

Emily Garrison:

Men are vile and disgusting creatures. They pump you with enough alcohol to tranquilize an elephant. Then they decide to impregnate you with a crazy and uncontrollable little girl. What do they do when they find they have an offspring? He gives you twenty dollars, wishes you luck, and rides off into the sunset on his Harley.

I can barley remember his name, I think it was Dan, or Darrel. That was the first time I had alcohol. You can’t blame for getting too drunk to walk. Life was hard, I was almost done with high school, we were more than poor, we were flat broke. Then mother and father disowned me.

I gave birth to Jed Garrison on January 29, don’t get me wrong, I do love my daughter. She’s just, so free spirited and is unaware of how hard it is to take care of a child while not married. I had dreams, I was, and still am, going to be, a professional chef.

I’m going to get my own restaurant, I’m going to be a head chef. People will come from all around to see eat in my restaurant. I just have to figure out what to do with Jed during this. She doesn’t have a dad, so I can’t dump her on him.

I began working for a wedding agency. I do the cooking mostly, but ever since they hired the new guy, Jake, I’ve had to be a waitress. I swear on the grave of my grandmother, I will get my place in the kitchen back. Like I said, men are vile and disgusting.

“Jed! What are you doing?” I swear she’s worse than a two year old.

“……nothing….”

“Jed, if you so much as touch my kitchen utensils again there will be no freezy pops for a month!” She has so many freezy pops a day, she practically lives off of them.

“hmmmmm………AHHHHHH!!!!!”

Damn, she probably blew something up again. She always does these “experiments” as she calls them. Last time she lost her eyebrows. They’ve grown back now.

“Jed Cory Garrison, what in the world are you doing?”

“It’s nothing mom! No need to come up!” Oh no, I just know I’m going to be writing apology letters for a week.

“Mom? Um, don’t you have a gig, or, something?”

“no Jed, I leave at-“ I glance at my watch, “ Right now!”

I always do this! I’m so absentminded! I completely forgot the Harold’s wedding! Which I’m serving at! I throw on a white blouse and black slacks.

“Jed where are my shoes? And they aren’t on my feet, I already checked there!”

“Ehhh, Try next to your purse!”

I finally spot them. Throwing on shoes I yell, “Be nice to Mrs.Schuyler! She’s had a rough week, and don’t talk to Mr.Schuyler. I don’t trust him since he stole the gnomes!” All of my garden gnomes disappeared about a week ago. And I just don’t have the time for it lately. Summer is the busiest time for wedding, we have three weddings this weekend. I have to take Jed to the Robertson/Philippi wedding. You don’t know how much that irks me.

Life is too busy for me to keep an eye on that girl. I can’t wait until I get a restaurant. I can just let her seat people and that way everyone can keep an eye or more on her. Oh how can life get more stressful?

“mom! You still have your curlers in!”

Sigh.

300 ..............Again

"Capitan! The light is back!"
"Damn, and we can't afford to lose anymore troops, send out orders to break ranks and run for cover. I'd suggest the green forest."
"But captain, it's Tuesday! The deadly noise alien rules over the forest on Tuesdays!"
"You don't think I know that? Follow orders, or I'll send you into the light. We've lost enough troops , now pull back into the forest."
The guard left in a rush yelling at the top f his lungs, "To the forest! To the forest, you scumbags, the forest!"
The army broke rank and ran for their lives; they had seen what the white light could do. Anyone caught in it's violent whiteness was burned to nothing more than toast. While toast might be a delicious and nutritious breakfast food, no one wants to be breakfast, no one.
Running and screaming the army was being burned, one by on, or two by two, if they were exceptionally unlucky. The captain watched from the safety of the forest. Yes, it's true, it was Tuesday, and any minute now, the large metallic monster would come sweeping over them. That noisy, loathsome, ruthless, evil machine. It didn't care that it killed so many.They would be to be caught up it's windy death trap or crushed by the enormous wheels. He would risk it; being burned to death was slow and torturous, being sucked up in a quick death was much more appealing. He truly was a good captain.
There were loud sounds, he suspected the giants were arguing again.
~~~~~~~~~
"Timmy, would you quit burning ants with that magnifying glass, and mow the lawn?"
Timmy looked up at his mother, sighed, and placed the magnifying glass on the front porch. For later entertainment.

300

"Capitan! The light is back!"
"Damn, and we can't afford to lose anymore troops, send out orders to break ranks and run for cover. I'd suggest the green forest."
"But captain, it's Tuesday! The deadly noise alien rules over the forest on Tuesdays!"
"You don't think I know that? Follow orders or I'll send you into the light. We've lost enough troops , now pull back into the forest."
The guard left in a rush yelling at the top f his lungs, "To the forest! To the forest, you scumbags, the forest!"
The army broke rank and ran for their lives, they had seen what the white light could do. Anyone caught in it's violent whiteness was burned to nothing more than toast. While toast might be a delicious and nutritious breakfast food, no one wants to be breakfast, no one.
Running and screaming the army was being burned, one by on, or two by two, if they were exceptionally unlucky. The captain watched from the safety of the forest. Yes, it's true, it was Tuesday, and any minute now, the large metallic monster would come sweeping over them. That noisy, loathsome, ruthless, evil machine. It didn't care that it killed so many.They would be to be caught up it's windy death trap or crushed by the enormous wheels. He would risk it, being burned to death was slow and torturous, being sucked up in a quick death was much more appealing. He truly was a good captain.
There were loud sounds, he suspected the giants were arguing again.
~~~~~~~~~
"Timmy, would you quit burning ants with that magnifying glass, and mow the lawn?"
Timmy looked up at his mother, sighed, and placed the magnifying glass on the front porch. For later entertainment.

55 Even Awesomer Words

Hark! Is that the phone the phone I hear ringing?
It beckons to me, perhaps this is what I have been waiting hours for!
I told him to call me,
he said he would.
God, he's like a god he's so hot!
Bubbling with hope I answer.
"Hello?"
"Is your refrigerator running?"
damn.

55 Awesome Words

Hark! Is that a phone I hear ringing??
It calls to me, perhaps it is the call I have been waiting hours for!
I rush over to the phone
I told him to call me,
He said he would.
God, he's so incredibly hot!
Bubbling with hope I answer.
"Hello?"
"Is your refrigerator running?"
damn.

What I 've Already Said

What I needed to say,
Is what I've already said.
I've already said what I wanted
I always say what I need to.

When you told me you were sad
said I was sorry for you

When you told me you were going to die
I said I would miss you; I already do.

When you told me you were sorry
I said it didn't bother me, it really didn't

When you told me you were dying of laughter
I didn't say anything because I was laughing along with you

When you told me to write about a time I needed to say something
I said sure

What I needed to say,
Is what I've already said.

We Aren't Perfect-Remix

"What do you think Life is, little girl?"
"Life is what God gave me
when I was born, everybody has one!"

when you're small
you don't know the meaning of Reality
it's a sad day
when we Wake Up

She had those Pills
those damn
white
pills

Instructions:
Take one before bed every night
Take One
ha

The Bottle
dumped in her hand
all swallowed
downed with water

Confusion wrapped
around my little world
Tears wrapped around Sirens
Questions
Reality

when we realize
Life isn't Perfect
and neither are We

"What do you think Life is, little girl?"
"Life is what God gave us
when we were born.
Only God has the right
to take It away.''